Friday, January 25, 2013

Rooftop Restaurants and Subtle Reminders

The other morning I set my alarm earlier than normal and dragged myself out of my warm bed, got all bundled up, grabbed my bible and journal and set off to have breakfast at a rooftop restaurant around the stupa. I did this quite a bit when we first got to Nepal, but as schedules filled and temperatures dropped, I had let quite a bit of time pass since I had last done this. Laura left us an envelope full of letters when she left, and she suggested this one particular restaurant that I hadn't been to have breakfast and pray over the people and country, so I went.

The few days before this I had found myself in a bit of a funk, for no real reason. I could find excuses and explanations, but mainly I just kept thinking, "I should be home for that."

Daniel hit a half-court shot at the buzzer; I should be there yelling louder than anyone else.
Katie gets a new boyfriend; I should be there to make sure he's good enough.
Jon gets a promotion; I should be there to take him to dinner to celebrate.
My grandma's sister passed away; I should be there holding her hand.

Isn't it frustrating how just when we think we have something under control, Satan comes up with an entirely new way to lie to us?

But as I made my way to the rooftop, the view that early morning made my hands tremble and my heart pound. As I looked down from there, I could see the hundreds of people circling the stupa in their futile attempt to earn karma and repeating prostration after prostration, and I could see the smoke from the incense wafting through the air, and for the first time in a few months I could literally feel the hopelessness.

And as I sat there and began pouring prayers out over these people, it was as if there was suddenly a very clear line that separated what matters at this point in my life and what really doesn’t matter at all.

Jesus himself said, “Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead.” And if the dead can bury their own dead, then all of those things that I think I should be there for can surely carry on just fine without me.

And none of this was God telling me that my family or home wasn’t important, not at all. He created the family. Scripture is clear the value that should be placed on building a Godly home and honoring Christ through that, and that made the message of this morning even more powerful. It was so very clear to me that as much as He loves the family, the fight for the souls of these people far outweigh anything I am missing out on at home right now. And with that again came the peace that I am exactly where I should be.

So today I am thankful for God's goodness, even when my heart lousy.
I'm thankful He's holy, even when I'm sinful.
And I'm thankful that He's faithful, even when I play the part of a harlot.
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