Tuesday, May 25, 2010

If you move fast enough, the mosquitoes can't get you

Tonight after spending a few long, hot hours at the baseball fields, I come home feeling a bit unsettled, so I decided to ride my bike. One thing that I have always had is "my spot" whether it was at school or in Lamar. I had a spot that I went to when I wanted to be alone or journal or think or cry...it was my spot. So I was on a mission.

Spoiler alert-I didn't find it. I did find a big hill and a big dog though.

After being annoyed all day today from the mosquito bites left from climbing trees the night before, I was a little hesitant to brave the dusk again tonight. Luckily, I came up with a fool proof plan-I thought, "I just have to move fast enough for them to not catch me." Apparently, I'm a fool. I didn't take into account the breaks I would inevitably have to take at the top of the hills and the recovery from the dog chase. Needless to say, I am now irritated by new bites.

I have a lot of thoughts. I know most people do, but sometimes I think it's a little extreme. When I was in 6th grade, I told my math teacher that if she could just sit in a lawn chair in my brain and hear all the thoughts I think in a day, she'd be amazed. I guess I was always a little weird...but it makes this blog thing a little more difficult.

I've been thinking a lot about lessons and pain and how intimacy with God develops and how they are all so intricately intertwined. How could we not believe that God longs to have a relationship with us? Look at all of the lengths he goes through in life just to get our attention. And if you don't think that's true, it is; you're just mistaking Him trying to reach out to you as something else. In a society that is focused on self pitying and basically encourages people to look for reasons to be in pain and tell the whole world about it, we don't rely on the only true source of comfort. Instead we would rather wallow in that pain, but that doesn't take very much courage. No, Christ doesn't cause pain in our lives, He allows it though. His comfort and redemption and the lessons we learn, that is what makes the pain worth it. It not only makes it worth it, it makes the pain beautiful.

So even if my fool proof plan isn't fool proof...I'll still ride my bike at dusk and climb trees at night.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Just the start...

One week ago yesterday, I graduated from college.
The next week I moved out of my apartment.
I loved college; I hated that apartment.. I cried abt the latter.

I now have a degree in English Education. One of the repercussions of which is that I have to write a rough draft for everything. Everything. It's actually quite frustrating...so in this blog, I'm going to rebel-in order to save a little time.

I moved home this week..."home". After 4 years of college, I now share a bed with my 16 year old sister, a closet with my mom, and a bathroom with all 3 siblings. Flexibility-it's a beautiful thing. :) And necessary. I leave for the Philippines in exactly 2 weeks...so I will do my best to keep all who may be interested updated on the amazing things God is going to do in the 6 weeks I'm away.

I always thought once I graduated college, I would know what I wanted to do with my life, start my career, start a family, start...grown up things. But now that I'm here, I can't help but want to do anything but..grown up things. I find myself wanting adventure and chaos and uncertainty. And if I have nothing else, I have uncertainty. And that's ok with me.
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